When it comes to relationships, I don’t think anyone really wants to be at odds with others. Do we? I don’t think we wake up in the morning and wonder how many people we can irritate this day. I could be wrong about that. Within the past few months I have to admit that I am beginning to suspect that some people do wake up ready to be grumpy and quarrelsome.
In fact, if I said “politics,” there would probably be some who would bristle, even before they knew what else I might say. They would be “itching for a fight,” as we used to say. Rather than listening to each other and trying to understand various viewpoints we seem to find more satisfaction in cutting off conversation and insisting that our own perspectives are the only ones worth knowing.
Growing up, I learned the value of looking for the best in another person’s behavior. My parents rarely cut down another person, although when my dad was driving, we might hear him refer to another driver as a “dumb bunny.” And often someone was full of “baloney.” It was only years later that I realized what a blessing that was. Instead of thinking the worst about someone, at least out loud, we learned to look for the best possible explanation. And if that wouldn’t work, try humor!
When I was taking catechism classes I learned about Martin Luther’s explanation to the eighth commandment, I suspect was this behind much of our parents’ thinking, although they never said that.
Let me take a detour here to note that we Lutherans, along with Roman Catholics, follow St. Augustine’s ordering of the Ten Commandments. Many Protestant denominations, along with our Jewish siblings, use a different ordering. As we know, the Bible doesn’t number the Ten Commandments, but we humans have. It’s one reason why laws, like the one in Louisiana, requiring the Ten Commandments to be posted in every classroom can create confusion. Whose list is being posted? Which translation is being used?
Here’s a recently updated translation that is used by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America.
The Ten Commandments
(from Luther’s Small Catechism, (c) 2000, 2006, 2016, 2022 Augsburg Fortress)
- You shall have no other gods.
- You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God.
- Remember the Sabbath Day and keep it holy.
- Honor your father and your mother.
- You shall not murder.
- You shall not commit adultery.
- You shall not steal.
- You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
- You shall not covet your neighbor’s house.
- You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.
You can find the entire Small Catechism here.
Martin Luther included explanations for each of the commands. For the eighth commandment, “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor,” Luther wrote: What does this mean? We are to fear and love God, so that we do not tell lies about our neighbors, betray or slander them, or destroy their reputations. Instead, we are to come to their defense, speak well of them, and interpret everything they do in the best possible light.
An earlier translation said that we are to speak charitably of others, and that’s my favorite word. I try to speak charitably of my neighbors whenever possible. And, let me tell you, with all the craziness in the world, sometimes that is a bit hard to do! So, I also try to follow the Thumper rule (think the movie Bambi): If you can’t say anything nice about someone, don’t say anything at all. But again, it’s not always easy to keep my mouth shut!
Over the years I have learned that many people don’t want to hear the most charitable thoughts about another person. They relish imagining the worst about someone else. I have been told I’m wrong when I try to interpret what folks do in the best possible light.
The memes that we love to share on social media may be one of the easiest, and worst, ways to break this eighth commandment. We can’t seem to help ourselves, even if we realize that it might be hurtful to the person highlighted, not to mention others whose opinions differ from ours.
When I’m my best self, I am able to pass over the memes without sharing them. I try to share the best thoughts on social media, and let the rest scroll by. Anyone that follows me knows that I’m not always at my best!
What if we all tried to speak charitably of others? What if we took the persons we dislike the most, and tried to come to their defense rather than slander them? And, if we can’t defend their actions, perhaps, at least, we can avoid being unkind?
Press on dear friends, and may we all strive to speak charitably of others.
Random Thoughts from a Random Mind 