Are you enough?

Pastor Julianne D. Smith

Many years ago, when my daughters were in grade school, their school made an attempt to help students gain self-esteem. I say “made and attempt” because I believe it backfired.

I don’t remember the name of the curriculum they used, but it included a dragon named Pumsy and the saying, “I am me and I am enough.” I think the idea was to help students build self-confidence and be assertive. But what I read in the handouts my daughters brought home was a bit alarming. It seemed to imply that a person didn’t need to depend on anyone else for help. They could do it on their own, whatever ‘it’ might be.

As a pastor I found it disturbing that the undertone implied that believing in God was unnecessary. As a parent, I was dismayed at how many of my daughters’ classmates seemed to become bullies overnight. It appeared that “I am me, and I am enough” was code for “I don’t need to be kind to or care for anyone else.”

Not every child turned into a bully, of course, but several of my daughters’ friends seemed to take it to heart that they didn’t need to be concerned with anyone else’s feelings. So much for the Golden Rule. I wasn’t the only one who noticed this. One of my parishioners raised her concerns with me. Plus, the Guidance Counselor told me that she had noticed a negative effect on students. Pumsy the Dragon was flunking out.

This is why I cringe every time I see ads for the shirts which promote “you are enough.” Now, the back side is rather encouraging. It offers assurance that each person has value. But I wonder if it’s comforting to tell a person “you are enough?”

What does that say to the person who is struggling with daily living? Does it leave people thinking that they are failures if they seek help? Or, would a person think, “If I am enough, I don’t need to worry about anyone else, or any consequences if I am unkind?” Or, “If I am enough, I don’t need God.”

I wonder.

“You are enough” isn’t enough. We need each other in order to be strong. We need to be able to reach outside of ourselves for help when we are not enough on our own. Christians confess that we need Jesus, and without Jesus we have nothing. We know we need God, and we need each other.

The phrase, “You are important to me” would get my attention. I would feel needed. I could believe that the world is better with me in it. I could believe that someone else would help me if I asked. Together we can be enough. With God we are enough.